How to send a Condolence message on death?

The pain of losing a close friend, colleague, relative, or family member can not be expressed & consoled through words. However, words are the only way to build a bridge between the mourner and the …

Condolence message

The pain of losing a close friend, colleague, relative, or family member can not be expressed & consoled through words. However, words are the only way to build a bridge between the mourner and the consoler. People always find it difficult to select the right pair of words and a medium while sending a condolence message.

With the support of the right condolence message conveying a heartfelt & sentimental emotion, a well-wisher can pour his/her heart in front of the mourner.

To curb the extent of excessive worries regarding the selection of the right “Condolence Message” and the appropriate way of its delivery, we have rounded up a list comprising solutions.

Condolence message 1

What are the best ways to soothe an aching heart through a condolence message?

The way of paying condolences solely relies on the relationship that you share with the departed soul as well as the mourner whom with you are going to connect. Take a quick view of the best and most frequently opted ways of sending condolences.

  • Make a phone call
  • Write a mail, text or message on communication platforms.
  • Send a condolence card through post
  • Visit the home & console in person

Make yourself aware of the DOs and DONTs while opting for the above-listed ways of expressing condolences.

1. Through a Phone Call –

Making a phone call is one step ahead of texting and sending a card to convey the heartfelt grief towards the loss of the departed person and concern regarding the mourning family. If you know the departed person and the mourning family quite closely, a phone call is the best suitable option for making the mourner realize that you are there to empathize with them. Before making a hasty decision and jumping over a phone call option, make sure that the receiver agrees to talk.

  • You can also check about the favorable or unfavorable circumstances regarding the phone call by dropping a small message,” Can We Talk On A Phone Call?”
  • Do not stretch the phone call for a long duration and exaggerate the conversation about yourself.
  • Your phone call must include pacifying statements like, ‘Call me without giving a second thought whenever you need anything.’
  • After saying the precise words of condolences, focus on listening to the mourner. Listening to the grieving person carefully heals the heart replete with pain & agony.

2. A text message or email –

Such kind of methods for conveying condolences go well in cases where you share a professional relationship with the grieving person or family. You can send a short, precise and customized text message or mail to the person but take care of the below listed points while consoling him/her through message.

  • Keep the text or mail short and include prayers for a peaceful journey for the departed soul.
  • Do not write about your experience such as, “When I lost my father, the pain of his passing dragged me into the toughest phase of depression.” It can hurt them instead of calming their grieving heart & distressed mind.
  • Do not force them to reply to you at the end of your condolence message. It can build pressure on them in the phase of pain & agony.
  • Do not include any kind of personal stuff such as, ‘what is going on in your life or at the workplace where you work together.’
  • The condolence message should have a sense of personalization instead of looking like a “Copy-Paste” message. If you are aware of the deceased person a little bit, ” share your good experience when you first met with the departed person”. It will enable the mourner to process the loss through reminiscing about the good memories.

3. A condolence message card –

Sending a condolence message through a card is the best possible way of expressing grief for those who think too much before taking any step. Another positive aspect behind choosing a “Condolence Message Card” is, that the receiver does not feel any kind of pressure regarding immediate response.

Here are some cautions that one can take while consoling a mourner by sending a condolence Message Card.”

  • Whether you are picking a condolence message card from the market or preparing it yourself, do not miss writing a few words of condolences in a personalized way.
  • The condolence message card has ample space that can be best utilized by sharing a beautiful experience with the departed person. You can admire the personality of the deceased person, your experience of first meeting with the deceased person or a life-long lesson given by the deceased person.
  • Pair the condolence message card with a bouquet of fresh white flowers or the favorite flowers of the departed person. You can also mention the specification of flowers and a memory connected with it.

4. Visit the mourning family or griever in person –

When it comes to the closest bonding, visiting the home of the mourner personally becomes mandatory. In such a way of expressing condolences, the actions speak louder than the words. You can visit personally if your closest friend, colleague, relative, or neighbor has recently lost a beloved family member.

Your visit can comfort them to a large extent and they can mourn openly in your company. But you should comply with a  certain set of precautions while paying condolences through a personal visit.

  • Make sure that the person is comfortable to meet you regarding the context of the unbearable loss of a life. You can also ask through a phone call or message before arriving at his/her home.
  • Bring something with you while visiting the home of a mourning person. It could be a bouquet of white flowers, a card or pre-prepared meal, or other edibles to soothe their aching hearts.
  • Your gestures play a pivotal role in expressing condolences through a personal visit. You can hold the hands of a mourner, rub the back or shoulders gently, or pat their heads softly while talking about their unbearable loss.
  • While listening to them, you can help them with home chores also. It will relieve them not only in a physical manner but also psychologically.
  • Do not restrain yourself from crying while having a painful conversation. Your shedding tears can make the mourner realize that you are completely involved in their grief.

After going through the detailed analysis of the ‘right ways to send condolences’, you can now make an idyllic decision about your way of consoling the mourner. At last, you should keep one point in mind, “The ways of sending condolences may vary but the intentions behind them remain the same and the intentions always matter the most.”

Which “Condolence Messages” can you choose to express your grief & concern?

Though it is always challenging to comfort and console the distressed mourner, an impactful condolence message can compel them to come out of the agony gradually.

Here are some certain pairs of appropriate words that can be utilized best as a heartfelt condolence message.

  1. I am deeply shocked and saddened after hearing the loss of your _______. Please accept my sincere condolences and prayers for the peaceful farewell of the departed soul.
  2. I recently got the distressing news of your ________ loss. I am sending peace & comfort to all your family members. Your ________ will always be fondly missed.
  3. With teary eyes and a heavy heart, I am sending you the courage to grapple with this toughest phase of pain. May the departed soul attain a place in the heavenly abode.
  4. My deepest condolences to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  5. Though the words are not enough to express my grief, I am sending strength and peace through my condolence. Your ________ was a gem person and his/her life will be cherished forever.

Besides choosing these best condolence messages, you must avoid including words like, “I know how are you feeling, please do not cry, it is a phase and soon will be over, death is bound to happen and everyone has to go through this pain” etc. These words can intensify the pain & agony of a person suffering from the unbearable loss of a beloved one’s life.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) –

What matters the most in sending a condolence message?

In sending a condolence message, your compassion and concern towards the mourners matter the most. The message you are going to send must be compelling enough to feel that you are truly in pain due to their loss.

Which way will be the most suitable for you to convey a condolence message?

The personal relationship that you share with the departed person as well as the grieving family decides the ideal way of expressing condolences and consoling the distressed ones.

To whom do we send a condolence message through a phone call, text, card or a personal visit?

You can send a condolence message to your neighbor, friend, colleague and relatives.

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